Ms. Van Lady Goes Pen Shopping

Yesterday I went on an excursion to find a few school supplies I still needed. I was mainly looking for pens, the Paper Mate X-Tend Medium Point Ballpoint Pen, to be exact. If you're on Facebook, you already know the awful news that Paper Mate no longer makes this pen. If you ask me, it's a tragedy. The pen came in the perfect shade of pink (not to mention a delightful green and lovely purple). The squishy grip was a superb combination of comfort and support. The ink flowed seamlessly across the paper like a dream! Why would a company stop making such a, dare I say, perfect product? Your guess is as good as mine. But alas! The pen shopping tragedy turned into quite a sweet event.

I was browsing the aisle, apparently very obviously distressed, trying to locate this gem. A woman next to me asked if I hated shopping for school supplies as much as she did. I told her that I actually LOVED it, as I am a teacher and get some sick thrill out buying such treasures. Her son, who looked to be about 9, looked at me with disbelief, "You like buying stuff for school?" he asked.

"Like? Try love! Nothing is cooler than picking out new pens, pencils, notebooks, folders, glue, crayons, colored pencils and all that good stuff to make school that much better than it already is!" I told him, getting really excited about the tools of the trade. He told me he thought teachers hated school stuff, since they "pretty much live there and probably get tired of it." I explained to him that during the summer I always watch TV just hoping I'll see back-to-school commercials so I would know it was time to get ready. I also explained my pen dilemma. That's when he stepped up to the plate.

"I could help you find pens if you want, I know a lot about them," he told me. I looked at his mom, who was smiling at his confident statement, which we both suspected might have been an exaggeration. I told him that would be great, as long as his mom didn't mind. She was fine with his offer, so Chase and I were scouring the shelves in no time to find the best pen we could find. He would pick one up and say something like, "You don't want one like this, it's too boring," or, "See how this part is real squishy? That would probably be good for you, since you're a teacher and you write a lot. It would make your fingers not hurt when you have to mark a lot of answers wrong." After a good 2 minutes of exploring the options, we decided the $95 pen that astronauts use was probably a little much, but the Zebra Z-Grip Medium Point Ballpoint Pen was as close to perfection as we could get. It had a comfortable, but not too soft, grip. 1 package contained 6 different color options, and at $2.50 a package...it was almost too good to be true. I thanked Chase and his mom, and we parted ways.

I tried out a pink pen and a purple pen tonight. I'm not gonna lie, they're pretty darn great. Maybe I should turn to 9 year-olds to help with all my important decisions from now on...

Dear American Apparel,
I am just curious as to whether or not you have actually sold any of the bodysuits, hypercolor shirts or scrunchies you advertise so boldly on one of my favorite websites. I love the trends from 5th grade as much as the next girl, but really, shouldn't those trends stay in the 5th grade?
Love,
Nem
PS I do appreciate that your models are not unrealistically attractive like those of other companies.