Ms. Van Lady Goes Pen Shopping

Yesterday I went on an excursion to find a few school supplies I still needed. I was mainly looking for pens, the Paper Mate X-Tend Medium Point Ballpoint Pen, to be exact. If you're on Facebook, you already know the awful news that Paper Mate no longer makes this pen. If you ask me, it's a tragedy. The pen came in the perfect shade of pink (not to mention a delightful green and lovely purple). The squishy grip was a superb combination of comfort and support. The ink flowed seamlessly across the paper like a dream! Why would a company stop making such a, dare I say, perfect product? Your guess is as good as mine. But alas! The pen shopping tragedy turned into quite a sweet event.

I was browsing the aisle, apparently very obviously distressed, trying to locate this gem. A woman next to me asked if I hated shopping for school supplies as much as she did. I told her that I actually LOVED it, as I am a teacher and get some sick thrill out buying such treasures. Her son, who looked to be about 9, looked at me with disbelief, "You like buying stuff for school?" he asked.

"Like? Try love! Nothing is cooler than picking out new pens, pencils, notebooks, folders, glue, crayons, colored pencils and all that good stuff to make school that much better than it already is!" I told him, getting really excited about the tools of the trade. He told me he thought teachers hated school stuff, since they "pretty much live there and probably get tired of it." I explained to him that during the summer I always watch TV just hoping I'll see back-to-school commercials so I would know it was time to get ready. I also explained my pen dilemma. That's when he stepped up to the plate.

"I could help you find pens if you want, I know a lot about them," he told me. I looked at his mom, who was smiling at his confident statement, which we both suspected might have been an exaggeration. I told him that would be great, as long as his mom didn't mind. She was fine with his offer, so Chase and I were scouring the shelves in no time to find the best pen we could find. He would pick one up and say something like, "You don't want one like this, it's too boring," or, "See how this part is real squishy? That would probably be good for you, since you're a teacher and you write a lot. It would make your fingers not hurt when you have to mark a lot of answers wrong." After a good 2 minutes of exploring the options, we decided the $95 pen that astronauts use was probably a little much, but the Zebra Z-Grip Medium Point Ballpoint Pen was as close to perfection as we could get. It had a comfortable, but not too soft, grip. 1 package contained 6 different color options, and at $2.50 a package...it was almost too good to be true. I thanked Chase and his mom, and we parted ways.

I tried out a pink pen and a purple pen tonight. I'm not gonna lie, they're pretty darn great. Maybe I should turn to 9 year-olds to help with all my important decisions from now on...

Dear American Apparel,
I am just curious as to whether or not you have actually sold any of the bodysuits, hypercolor shirts or scrunchies you advertise so boldly on one of my favorite websites. I love the trends from 5th grade as much as the next girl, but really, shouldn't those trends stay in the 5th grade?
Love,
Nem
PS I do appreciate that your models are not unrealistically attractive like those of other companies.

Beating Heart Baby

Today I had to go to the hospital for some tests. Long story short, I have an irregular heart beat. My doctor thinks I've probably always had it, but we didn't find out until about 5 years ago. That in itself shouldn't cause any major problems, it's just something to keep an eye on. Every once in a while, my heart does this weird flippy-flop thing. However, it's been doing it quite often lately. I'm sure it's nothing, but better safe than sorry!

The first thing I did was get an echocardiogram (a test that uses ultrasound to evaluate your heart muscle, heart valves, and risk for heart disease...athankyou WebMD). I was just chilling out on the table while they looked at my heart when they put the little wand thing about 3 inches above my belly button. I must be crazy because my first thought was, "Is there something in my heart that makes them think I'm preggers so they're looking?!?!" Then I realized they were just trying to jam that damn wand under my rib cage to see the bottom of my heart.

Darrel, a slightly creepy looking fellow, came in next to put on my Holter monitor. It's pretty much a portable heart monitor that records my heart for 24 hours. There are 5 electrode doo-dads that all have wires running to a walkman looking contraption in my pocket (Darrel told me I could wear it around my neck, but I opted for the discrete pocket). After getting wired up, I headed to the lab for some blood work. While I was waiting for a test that I will actually have to go back for tomorrow, the guy sitting next to me looked over and said, "That's the fanciest iPod I've ever seen!" I knew my iPod was in my purse, but my purse was zipped, so I looked back at him with a confused look. He nodded towards my pocket and said, "I've never seen one with so many cords!" I realized he was talking about the monitor and laughed a little. I said, "Oh, this isn't an iPod, it's a heart monitor." He had the most shocked and sad look on his face and said, "I'm so sorry." I explained to him that it was just a test, but I'm pretty sure he still thought it was an external electric heart.

Sometimes writing my blog makes me depressed because I realize how boring my life is, and how little it takes to amuse me!

Awkward Meeting

I'm not even going to try to pretend like I didn't go back to Tom Yum for lunch today. When I woke up this morning, the first thought in my head was, "do I want Drunken Noodles or Red Curry?" Yes, I know...this is a sign I have a problem.

I went to the restaurant around 12:20 or so and found rock star parking. When I opened the door, there were 3 people standing in the doorway. Immediately I recognized one of them as an "ex," we'll call him Fruit Punch. I say ex in quotes because he wasn't a boyfriend, but I guess we college-dated back in the day. He totally ignored me, even though I know he saw me when I walked in. I scanned the take-out menu, and as more people came in and forced me closer to him (I only started out a mere 3 feet away), I said, "Hey Fruit Punch, not even going to say hi?" He immediately said, "Oh hi, I didn't see you there," which was obviously not true as he didn't even pretend to pause to recognize me before he said this. So we both stood there, he pretending to be engrossed in his blackberry, me pretending to read the menu like it was the current #1 best seller at Barnes and Noble. Finally, I said, "So, what are you up to these days?" He told me where he was working and I asked if he liked it. He said it was "fun." He asked what I was doing and I told him I was teaching at EHS. He asked if I liked it, and I told him I love teaching, but I'm not that crazy about my current location. I told him they told me teaching at EHS meant you were big time, but apparently they lied. He laughed, then silence...for 30 minutes. That's when I remembered that the only time he was talkative, funny, enjoyable, etc. back in the day was when he was drunk. Awesome.

I was slightly hesitant to recount this story, hoping that my friends have forgotten my momentary (or extended) lack of judgement. But, seeing as how I texted both BFF and Trouble Twin while standing next to Fruit Punch, I might as well share with the rest of the world. At least my green curry was effing amazing and totally worth the awkward robot I almost busted out!

Side note: I'm totally creeped out because I'm watching "16 and Pregnant" and they keep playing the song that I use for my birth control alarm. I think I'm going to change that right now...

Cha-cha-cha-Changes

First and foremost, I have to say thanks to my good friend L-Mac for making my beautiful blog header! She's going to make a few little changes to it in the coming days, so pay attention! I don't really know why I'm even bothering to write this, as right now, L-Mac is my only reader! But alas, I love it! She's kind of amazing. Hopefully there will be more changes with my blog, like it being entertaining for instance. Don't hold your breath. I am witty and clever as hell, or so I like to tell myself, until I sit down to type.

Tonight mom and I went to Tom Yum for dinner. Jefferson City has its first Thai restaurant...watch out, it's a freaking booming metropolis! Dad and I noticed it during our people watching outing the other evening. It's a small, hole-in-the-wall place, which I happen to find quite charming. Dinner was really good, and I can't wait to go back and try new things! We talked to the owners for a while and found out the man's mother owns the Thai trailer at Cooper's Landing. Small, delicious world! I think I'll get some take-out for lunch tomorrow and try one of the curry dishes. All the food is reasonably priced and they make it so fast!

There is a sushi place that is supposed to open soon named "I Love Sushi." Since I do actually love sushi, I'm holding out hope! It's a little sketchy, as it's opening in the old KFC building, but hey, my favorite sushi place in STL is in the same building as a dry cleaner. I'm definitely willing to try it as it could very well be the most amazing sushi in the world. I'll let you know how things go. Food poisoning usually isn't fatal, right?

Watch out world, Jefferson City is becoming deliciously diversified!

I Heart People Watching

Every year, the "Salute to America" festivities are held downtown on the 3rd and 4th. I honestly can't remember the last time I went, but it's been at least 5 years. I decided to go with my dad tonight to check out the pre-4th happenings. I was so tired before we went, I almost didn't change out of my pink leopard pajama pants. After the fact, I'm glad I got my lazy butt off the couch if only for the fantastic entertainment provided by the fine citizens of Jefferson City and surrounding areas.

My mom was kind enough to drop us off downtown so we wouldn't have to search for parking. I guess this fact in itself proves that I'm grown up as I wasn't embarrassed to be dropped off by, or hang out with, a parent in public. But now that I think of it, I was never embarrassed by either of those scenarios...irrelevant thought. Dad and I headed to the feature entertainment, Aaron Tippin. Now don't get me wrong, I like country music. What I'm not a big fan of is close minded people with microphones. Let's just leave it at that. The concert provided a nice venue for people watching, but most of the people there were old and somewhat boring.

Dad and I decided to walk around downtown to check out the rest of the excitement. About every ten feet or so, someone stopped to talk to my dad. I swear, he knows everyone! After chats of various lengths, we'd walk away and I'd ask, "Who was that?" to which my dad would sometimes reply, "I don't know. They look familiar and I know I know them from somewhere..." So maybe it's more accurate to say that it's the other way around: everyone knows my dad.

I wish that I had a hidden camera to show the glamorous array of clothing on display, as my writing capabilities cannot even begin to explain to the spectacle. I've compiled a short list of the best (and by best, I mean most atrocious) outfits of the evening:
* Numerous homemade, puff paint, patriotic shirts...classic Jefferson City 4th of July apparel
* The denim-on-denim look...nothing says "Happy Birthday America" like jeans, a denim
"dress" shirt and jean jacket
* Jean shorts so short the pockets hang out, tastefully matched with an American flag bikini
top...classy, weather appropriate, and still patriotic
* "Clubbing" dresses and heels...obviously the smart choice for a downtown street festival

As I said, I can't do these outfits justice with my vocabulary. Next time I'll bring a camera. A few hours later, dad and I left with a bag of kettle corn, a funnel cake and more than our fair share of hometown entertainment.

Tomorrow I'm headed to St. Charles/St. Louis for a 4th of July party with HBFB. His brother and sister-in-law are having a party at their house which promises to be a good time. I'm a little nervous about him and his brother playing with explosives though. I plan on sitting at a safe distance, praying for our lives. It will be a short trip as HBFB has to work until 3:00 tomorrow afternoon, and goes back to work at 7:00 on Sunday morning, but what can I say? I kinda like hanging out with him...I guess :) People keep asking what I'm doing with all my free time this summer, and the answer is mostly hanging out with HBFB. Now, if I just could figure out a way to get paid for that, I'd be happy and rich! Don't worry, I'm tired so the schmoopiness has come to an end...for now.

A New Day, a New Blog, a New Me...

I've had good intentions of starting a blog for quite a while now. I love following my friends, and even some strangers, on their blogs. I'm a writer at heart, so it seems writing a blog would only come naturally. However, when I sit down to write, I often find that I have nothing witty or interesting to say. Nonetheless, this is my feeble attempt to amuse, or at least provide a distraction, to everyone out there in blogging land.

As mentioned in this post's title, a "new me" has recently emerged...at least temporarily. This past week I went with my boyfriend, HBFB, on his family vacation/reunion. Naturally, this all took place during the hottest week of the year so far. Vacation was in Steelville (Southwest Missouri) at a ranch that was similar to what I imagine nice summer camps are like. We stayed in cabins (beautifully equipped with an air conditioning unit and bathroom) and ate meals in the dining hall when the bell told us it was time to eat. For those of you who know me, you already know this isn't my normal scene. I'm a city girl. I like my air conditioning, cell phone reception, internet access and E! News. I guess 1 out of 4 is better than nothing. In all honesty, a total disconnect from the outside world was actually refreshing.

I was quite nervous going into this vacation (any of you who talked to me the day of, know that is the understatement of the century). I had already met 99% of HBFB's family, so at least that was 1 thing I wasn't completely freaking out about. However, the list of panic inducing events, as I'm sure you can imagine, was endless. To my surprise and delight, not only did I survive, but I really, truly had a great time.

I went on my first ever float trip(s). The first full day we were there we went tubing. It was uncomplicated and relaxing for the most part. I did not escape unscathed, but let's be honest here, with my clumsiness and general bad luck, I should just be happy I'm alive. I lost a toe nail (my ring toe on my left foot, in case curiosity was killing you), scraped up my left middle finger, shredded most of my fingernails, got a few bruises when I nailed a log with my right shin, put some nasty gashes in one of my rings (thank goodness for a full warranty), and got a ridiculous looking sunburn on my knees. Overall, I declare it a success.

The second day we went floating in canoes. I was terrified of tipping over. HBFB's cousin told me the #1 rule was NO LEANING. I followed that rule like it was my job, tipping was the absolute last thing I wanted to happen. We had a few very minor wobbles, but successfully stayed upright the entire float. HBFB was so patient with me; I didn't have a clue what I was doing! He did the majority of the work, but I did do enough paddling to still have sore arms today. I learned how to steer the canoe, but needed some gentle reminders at times. I wouldn't have blamed him if he intentionally tipped the canoe to get rid of me, but he was so patient and encouraging. I got a little more sun that day, but escaped further injury.

The third day we went floating on a raft. This was by far my favorite way to float. There was no fear of tipping (although falling out was definitely a possibility). We got an 8 person raft for 6 people and 3 coolers; it was perfect. Being in a raft gives you the option of paddling, being lazy, or a combination of the two. It was so nice to be able to talk to people in the raft, make fun of really stupid people near by and just relax. We were on the river for 6 hours that day. I drank water like it was going out of style, but still managed to get slightly dehydrated and a tiny bit overheated. I also got a moronic looking minor sunburn...par for the course.

We did so much more on vacation, but the float trips were definitely what I worried about the most and ended up loving the most. Shocked? Me, too. Don't worry, though...I'm still a city girl. I had such a great time and am so lucky to have such a great boyfriend with an amazing family.

So, my blog is off to a decent start. Maybe it's not highly entertaining just yet, but slightly informative, and I've got to start somewhere...might as well be here.